ice sits on mountains and on my hair tonight... the low mumbling of snow compressing between my footsteps reminds me of what I used to be: of what I let him make me.
I took a breath and remembered to look up
learn and proceed

then I thought of communication, how the absence of it brought us down to the depths of what we are, or aren't. and now he says nothing at all: only solidifying the same. passing invitations through the only one between us.
perhaps only in the limit of my actions (to keep him, and his gal from throwing up) and a forced apology speech will form the words to be from here on exchanged. cannot cry anymore for what nether of us have solidly fought for, but i can hope he'll find it worthwhile to move ahead with words directly from his mouth to my ears.
I took a breath and remembered to look up
learn and proceed

take more than physically spent
spend more than money